Sliced and Diced

I got back a little bit ago from the surgery. Here's the recap:

The Good

1. I enjoyed a chili burger and chili fries before going in.
2. The nurse was ready for me a bit before the appointment, so things progressed on schedule.
3. The doc got out nearly all of it (and there wasn't much) with the first scraping. He was so (rightly) confident that he sewed me up after the second minor scraping). The whole thing took less than two hours from check in to walking out.
   
4. He was able to make the incisions along existing creases, so he says it will heal up fine.

The Not So Good

1. The incisions were longer than I thought they would be. I thought it would be more like the biopsy.
2. I have a good sized bandage on my face, albeit with "flesh" colored tape over it (me and the Asian nurse had a good laugh over that). This makes my attendance at the Rotary thing tonight a bit dicey, but I'll go. However, I get to replace it with a smaller one tomorrow.
3. The doc recommended no alcohol for three days. That's just not going to happen with the bachelor party tomorrow. But, I'll stay off of the juice tonight.
4. Talking led to the wound bleeding some. The doc said that the bleeding wasn't abnormal as the blood vessels go back to normal as the numbing agent wears off. 15 min of pressure seemed to take care of the situation.
5. Sneezing hurts like hell.

The bottom line is that I'm glad it's done. I would have preferred that it wasn't as invasive, but that's life. For the time being I'll trust that I won't have a zipper on my face.

Thanks to all for hanging with me though this.

Off to Face the Knife

This morning I dropped off the HB at school and am now at a nearby internet cafe getting in touch with my urban redneck listening to Kid Rock. I'm glad I brought some headphones because I can't imagine any music being worse than the shit that's being piped in here (some Love Songs station that seemingly plays nothing but Michael Bolton and Celine Dion).

Hanging her allowed me to get caught up on e-mail, send out a project proposal and get some other work done. This is good as I have NO idea how long I'll be at the hospital. I'm scheduled for 11 am and after a little prep (e.g., needle into my face) they'll get going. My understanding is that they will take a small (1 to 5 micron) slice then analyze it (which takes 20-30 min). If it has cancer cells in it they'll go take another one. If not, they'll cauterize and I'll be on my way. The guy who did the biopsy didn't think I had much left, but he didn't think it was cancerous in the first place. The area where the biopsy was done is still a little raised, so I'm hoping that's the extent of it.

I'm not looking forward to having a bandage next to my nose tonight since I'll have to get on stage and say a few words in front of 200 people, but that's how it is likely gonna be. Right now I'm not having a lot of anxiety, but am looking forward to getting this over and done with. My only fear is that I'll end up with a big dent in my face and have to go through a round of plastic surgery...ugh.

Fortunately, since my wife will be on a plane while all of this is going on, my parents will pick up the HB from school. They would have wanted to see me right afterwards anyway, so this will take care of two birds with one stone.

OK, off to the hospital (with a stop at my fave chili burger place first). Wish my surgeon skill. I'll keep ya posted.

End of Bachelor Week...Or Is It?

The one day per week that I normally pick up the HB we try to do something special, or, as we call it, go on an adventure. Unfortunately, when that day moved to Wednesday it meant that we couldn't go to the LA County Museum of Art as that is the day it is closed. So, today we relived old times by going. Even better, the new BCAM wing is now open.

I've never been a big believer in taking the HB to a museum so he'll be "exposed" to art. Rather, I look for exhibits that he can relate to. I won't walk him through hallways of virgin mary paintings or Monet's cathedrals and haystacks (no matter how much I love them) because he'll just be bored.

I think like most kids he's drawn to the bright colors of modern art. When we go into a gallery I'll let him walk ahead and see what he goes to. Sometimes it's Picassos, but today it was Koons (because we could make funny faces in the reflections) and some Lichtenstein (because they looked like cartoons). It gave us a chance to have a conversation about art and artists and make some jokes. For instance, when the nephew was really young he would give me and my wife his scribbles. Whenever we saw some abstract art we would look at each other and say, "Nephew Art." When I mentioned this to him while we were looking at some paintings without identifiable subjects he thought it was HILARIOUS.

The ground floor has a great Serra installation. Besides the hugeness of it (something else that appeals to kids) it was cool to walk (OK, run) through it and hear the different echoes.

Tomorrow my wife comes home, though I don't exactly know when yet. It depends on her meeting schedule in the morning. However, she won't get back until after my surgery (I'll post about that separately). Her return is NOT the end of bachelor week as a buddy of mine is having his bachelor party Saturday night. Woot!

Best I can tell is that about 10 of us are going to meet up near his place at about 1:30 pm on Saturday where he or his best man have already reserved us a few hotel rooms and a bus to drive us around to all of his favorite bars in SoCal then back to the hotel. As far as I know, no strippers have been hired for the evening nor are any such clubs on the itinerary. I'm ambivalent about this. Going to strip clubs was never one of my favorite things to do, but it doesn't seem like a bachelor party without making the obligatory stop at one. Then when one considers that many of the women at the clubs or who we could hire for a private party would be young enough to be my daughter, it just gets down right creepy.

After filling my wife in on the general plan, especially the, "I'm not coming home on Saturday night" part she says, "Well, you should check with the doctor to see if you can drink this weekend." Hahahahha. Since I'm just getting a local, I'm thinking it's not a problem.

New Comedy Writers Are at the NY Times

From this morning's NY Times online:

Mine Water Poses Danger of a Toxic Gusher

By DAN FROSCH

Above, residents of Leadville, Colo., where officials are concerned that contaminated water could burst from a drainage tunnel and flood the town.

Seriously? Bad water in LEADVILLE?

And, from yesterday's:

The Architect of Modern Conservatism

By DOUGLAS MARTIN

William F. Buckley Jr., who marshaled polysyllabic exuberance and a refined, perspicacious mind to elevate conservatism to the center of American political discourse, died at 82.

Very dry, yet funny.

Am I a Sports Nut?

The HB and I had another fun night. We cooked pasta and hung out and I gave him his first algebra problems (yeah, like he'll remember that fondly). He must have been pretty whooped as he turned off his light before his bedtime.

Commenting on my post where I essentially called all PGA players not named Tiger a bunch of pussies, Jen wrote, "Do you watch ALL of the sports?" There may be differences of opinion on this, but I think I can definitively answer that, "No." For instance, I would never willingly watch NASCAR, soccer, rodeo or ice skating.

I grew up playing a lot of sports. I wasn't that big, strong, or fast, but had enough wits about me to learn by observation. So, while I was never the best kid on the field, I wasn't the worst either. Some sports (baseball and tennis) came more naturally than others (basketball and skiing), but I would give just about anything a try. And me and my friends would play any sport any time (one of the many cool things about growing up in SoCal).

As a kid, baseball was by far my favorite. I know that I learned math from the backs of baseball cards. I grew up as an Angels fan, which was tough when I was young because they sucked just about every year. And when they didn't, they would suffer a heartbreaking loss in the playoffs (the Red Sox of the west as a friend of mine called them before either team won a World Series in our lifetimes).

I enjoyed football and became a Raiders fan the first time they were in Oakland. Probably because they were the only team in the NFL with a player with my first name (or, so I thought). I also rooted for the Rams because my dad and some buddies had season tickets (first at the Coliseum, later at Anaheim Stadium). When the Raiders moved to LA I was VERY happy. I had other friends who were (and still are) Raiders fans and I remember going to some great games before they left.

The college I went to (UC Irvine) didn't and doesn't have a football team, so it shocked many of my friends that I went there (my wife still can't believe I went to a school without a football team). But, Irvine was a small enough school that I was able to not only DJ at the campus radio station (see link on right side of the blog) but also do play-by-play for the basketball team and for some baseball games. Doing that was awesome and was something I considered pursuing. In fact, in the pre-ESPN days I auditioned as a sports announcer for a new all sports radio station. I did a few gigs for them and then the station went under. I think they were just a little ahead of their time.

When grad school came calling, going to a university with a big sports program was not on the decision making criteria, but I'm glad that Tennessee had one. Being in that atmosphere on a big football Saturday or when Kentucky came for basketball is an unbelievable experience that pro sports rarely touch (though Raider Monday Night games and Laker playoff games were close).
I still remember many of those games, which is kind of a miracle considering how much we drank at them, and still try to make it back to UT once a year for a game.

A couple of profs suggested that I combine my interest in sports with my career, but I decided against it. It just seemed like shitting where I eat. I would have hated to lose my interest in sports, or become overly jaded about it, because I had to keep some emotional distance to 'understand' it better. I like being really happy when my team wins, even if it means bumming out for a bit when they lose.

Since the HB is not into sports at all, I don't go to that many games. In fact, my wife and I will get a sitter so WE can go to a baseball game. When he was young it was tough to catch all of the games I wanted to on TV. But then, the DVR was invented {angels singing}. I would say that I spend less time watching sports now than I did before the HB was born, but I get to see all of the games I want to since the DVR cuts the time it takes to watch one in half. Have I ever told my wife or son I can't do something because a key game is on? No. No game is more important than spending time with them.

Having my own business does make some events easy to catch. For instance, the first two days of the NCAA men's basketball tournament is a company holiday. As is the opening day of baseball.

Am I a big sports fan? Hell yeah. Nut? Well, that's in the eye of the beholder.

It's Bachelor Week!

My wife's off to DC until Friday night (yes, she'll miss the surgery), so that means a guys' week for me and the HB. Woot!

So, we start by hitting the seafood counter at the market (for those just joining us, my wife next to never eats things that used to live in the ocean, so the HB and I get our fix when she's gone). I intentionally went to the market that has a good soul food selection because I wanted to get some crawfish while they were in season. We get to display and didn't see any, so I ordered up some shrimp while looking in the other cases to see if maybe they had some pre-packaged ones, which they didn't. So, when the guy asks me if I want anything else I said, "I'm surprised you don't have any crawfish." Why I'm so passive and can't ask if he has any is beyond me. But that's for a different discussion. So, he looks around, doesn't see any and says, "Yeah, we have some...strange that we don't have any out." So, he brings out a bag of pre-boiled ones which at first was disappointing, until I realized that I didn't really have the time or inclination to whip up a crawfish boil. Happy as, ahem, clams, the HB and I head home.

In the car we discuss how we are going to enjoy our crustaceans. Then we arrive at a decision only two boys can make--crawfish and shrimp pizza. We ate dinner (with steamed green beans, so you don't think I completely abandoned all semblance of parenting) while watching the first half of the Tennessee vs. Vanderbilt basketball game (ilu, HD-DVR). Then we decided a jump in the jacuzzi was in order. After showering, we watched the end of the game (the Vols lost...but those 72 hours as #1 sure felt good).

After some playing with the dog and reading Harry Potter, it was time for lights out. I can't wait for tomorrow.

Another Reason Tiger Kicks Their Asses

It's gotta be tough being a professional golfer not named Tiger. You've practiced what you think is hard your whole life. You think you've eaten well, honed your game and convinced yourself you're a winner. And for what? To get your ass handed to you on a regular basis.

More proof of this was at the Match Play Championships this weekend. Early on, a couple of guys had Tiger on the ropes, but couldn't seal the deal. Then, he obliterates Steward Cink in the finals yesterday.

But here's the thing: Most of the guys he plays against come off as rich, spoiled bitches. Tiger says, "All I know is I love to play against the best players in the world. I love winning and I hate losing." Stenson, the guy who won the tournament last year says, "If I was to make the decisions on this championship, I think probably Justin [Leonard, who he played in the consolation match] and I would have been happy not to play today and take a tie for third place. It is hard to mobilize the energy for a match for third place."

Now, forget about that the difference between Stenson winning or losing was $175 large. I'm glad that's chump change for him. And, never mind about the fans who paid real money or tuned in on TV to watch him play. My guess is that if the match was to determine who would finish 63rd or 64th and Tiger was involved, he'd make damn sure he didn't lose because he NEVER wants another guy to think he has a chance the next time they play. You just can't turn that on and off. That's why Stenson, like most of the other guys on the PGA tour, roll over like a $5 whore when they play Tiger. They'd just rather take the easy money and not really challenge themselves. They just don't care about winning enough, or else they'd try to do it ALL the time.

Weekend Round Up

Sheesh...there were so many times over the weekend where I had posting ideas, but never had the chance to get online and put them up. So, this will be kind of a long one (I think).

On Friday, we experienced the miracle of free babysitting as the HB was invited to the nephew's for a sleepover. So, after getting into a bit of snit because I didn't jump and the chance to sit in an hour of horrible traffic to have dinner and run errands with her mom, my wife took the HB there. The plan was then to see at least one of the Oscar nominated movies. By the time she got home (and cheered up) it was in that time of the night where none of the movies played again until 10 pm or so. So we stayed in and watched the Bourne Ultimatum which we had recorded a couple of weeks ago. She's usually not into spy-thriller movies, but managed to stay with this one. It was pretty cool and it did win the sound editing and mixing awards last night, so I guess we met our goal.

Saturday we headed out and looked for some new furniture as the existing stuff has a little more dog/child wear and tear than we'd like. I still like the style and would be happy to get them re-upholstered. Unfortunately, the layout of our house and size of the sofa make it almost impossible to get it in and out of the room without popping out a window. And now that we have double-paned windows I don't even want to think about doing that twice.

We didn't find much that we liked and you could see the impact of the bad economy on the furniture stores. Many were closed and several looked really shitty in terms of maintenance and keeping them an attractive place to shop. We went to a Wickes and it was a hell-hole and looked like it was ready to close. They have a Cindy Crawford line now, which was made obvious by all the HUGE posters of her with the quote something like, "I can't wait for you to invite me into your home." I told the wife that if they really wanted to move the beds, etc., the line should be, "I can't wait for you to invite me into your bedroom." But, she thought the wives might be a little intimidated by that.

So, after that big tour of duty we came up empty. Shortly after returning home, the HB was returned to us. Just in time for him to go to the cast party for his theater group. Another night of free (ok, we bought some juice boxes and a couple of liters of soda) babysitting! Woot! This time we did make it to the movies to see Juno. I had read Diablo Cody's blog occasionally in the past (she moved it to MySpace, so linking to the old one doesn't make any sense), so that added a layer to the movie for me.

I enjoyed the flick more than I thought I would and it is really well written. Good depth to the main characters and interesting (but believable) plot twists. I won't spoil it by saying more, but it's worth your two hours in the dark with strangers. Even if two of them are a bi-racial lesbian couple that gets bored of the movie an hour into and spend the rest of the time texting friends, softly chit-chatting and making out. Not that that happened to me or anything.

Afterwards we went to the bar of an old, renovated hotel for a drink and a nosh. It was a great atmosphere will comfy couches and good jazz. The wine and cheese plate were good, but not great, but we'll definitely go back.

But, the best part of the evening was watching the Tennessee-Memphis men's basketball game. Memphis was ranked #1 and the Vols were ranked #2 coming into the game. UT has almost always had kick-ass women's hoops teams (see Pat Summit only trailing John Wooden in number of NCAA championships). The Memphis coach, John Calipari, had been bitching for a while about having to play the game. Well, now we see why. His team completely got out-hustled and lost their #1 ranking at home. Well, look who has that rating now, bitches.

Sunday morning the wife was on a mission. The HB's birthday is next month and we decided to get him a Wii. Her sister told us about a place that sells the Wii without tons of other crap with it (bundles with only two extra games) and that they were getting a shipment on Sunday and they open at 11. My sil volunteered to wait in line starting at 10, so my wife went down to join her. And the SCORED! The HB will be so psyched. So, while on the Wii shopping rush, they went and looked at more furniture. Of course, my wife found stuff that she just LOVED. She'll probably change her mind in 48 hours, as she tends to do with household items that she LOVES.

In the afternoon we went to a birthday party for the NZS. He's done a great job of making friends at his school, so several of them attended as well as other folks from the Rotary Club. His current host family has a beautiful home ("He's gonna be bummed when stays are our house" cracks my wife) and are great people to hang with. The club pitched in a bought him a 160 gig iPod. He was very psyched.

We recorded the Oscars and finally got around to sitting down with a shaker of martinis to watch at about 8:30pm. Unlike sporting events, you just can't blow through something like this really fast. Sure, you can skip the commercials and the best song performances, but it was still about a two hour ordeal. I am not down with the idea of giving awards for art. But, I do appreciate the raw emotion shown by the winners in their speeches and don't find them boring at all. And I like Jon Stewart, so it was all good.

OK, time to get some work done. Whew....

The Spotlight Is Getting a Little Brighter

The media and candidate desperation meters are starting to ratchet up a little bit in the presidential election.

First, Michelle Obama is getting a lesson in being in the fishbowl. Speaking her mind is probably a very good thing in her job. However, when everything you say is sliced-and-diced in the media and by the other candidates, you have to be a little more careful. I wonder who is going to have the pleasure of giving her the STFU talk?

The NY Times dug up an old story about John McCain and whatever relationship (business or private) he had with a telco lobbyist. The article is here and here is his rebuttal (am I fair or what?). Once you get over the creep factor of their age difference for the personal part, you have to wonder why McCain would be so tight with a lobbyist from an industry that is being regulated by a committee he chairs.

To his credit, McCain publicly proclaims his freedom from lobbyists with the zeal of a reformed smoker. This, of course, comes from him getting burned in the Keating 5 scandal. This has led to his effort to pass campaign reform--something for which I admire him very much. Any time you can pass legislation that pisses off single issue lobbying groups on the right AND the left, you must have done something good.

I'm sure the NY Times documented and researched the story very well. But, one has to ask, why do they now print a story that is essentially 8 years old? Who pitched it to them? Who was/were the two unnamed sources who came forward and why did they now? I doubt that their motives were pure.

Kobe v. Shaq

Tonight was Shaq's first with Phoenix. Of course, it was against Kobe and the Lakers. Shaq moved better than I thought he would, but he was as motivated and rested in this game as he will be for the rest of the regular season. But, Kobe was just a killer scoring 41. There was a lot of talk about Gasol hurting the Lakers with his defense, but I didn't see anyone on Phoenix stopping him.

As a Laker fan, I'm loving this. Shaq will probably play better as he gets used to the guys on the Suns, but the Lakers will get Bynum back in a few weeks. And with this win they have the tie-breaker over Phoenix if they finish with the same record. Things are looking good in Laker-land.

Comin' Down the Mountain

The HB and I had another fun trip to the mountain with Indian Guides. Since we are in a 'graduating' tribe, we got the nice accommodations. By nice I mean carpeting, heating that works, only four to a room and a bathroom which is not down the hall. We were still in sleeping bags on 6 inch mattresses. But, it's better than the old gulags (little heat, concrete floors, metal bunks).

The boys are at the age where they don't require a ton of supervision as they pretty much play among themselves. So, that meant we could all sled/hike during the day (there was a couple of feet of snow, but the temps were in the 50s) and boys would be on their GameBoys while the dads played cards at night.

Knowing the driving conditions getting to the camp (the last two miles is an unpaved, rutted and usually muddy road), I asked if the HB and I could bum a ride. We were able to, and fortunately with one of the boys the HB doesn't hang with that much. And, just as fortunately, not with one of the boys that he's more friendly with, but who has a voice like nails on a chalkboard and the vocal impulse control of a four year old. Of course, the HB and the other boy hit it off well.

Unfortunately, I left some kid DVDs at home. The guy who drove only had two: 3 Stooges and Beowulf. The 3 Stooges were pretty fun and it was the HB's first time seeing it (yes, female readers, I fully understand the yawning gender gap in enjoying the 3 Stooges). They found Beowulf pretty intriguing, but didn't really understand it. However, the protagonist's primary line, "I AM BEOWULF", was a great source of humor and became the tag line of the weekend for the tribe (e.g., after a long sled ride a boy would stand up and exclaim, "I AM BEOWULF!).

On the way home the other boy complained about a bit of a stomach ache. Apparently he gets a little car sick on windy roads. So, we made our planned stop once we got out of the mountains to get some sodas, etc. On the freeway he still said he didn't feel well, so his dad suggested that he roll down the window to get some fresh air. He does, and then pukes. Besides getting the auditory splendor of the event, for some reason I was looking through the passenger side side mirror so I got to enjoy it visually as well. Unfortunately, so did the lady driving the Volvo station wagon next to us who got a windshield full of hurl. When she pulled up along side of us she gave us quite the WTF? look. By that time everyone, except the kid who vomited, was convulsed in laughter (it wasn't long until he saw how funny it was). We then proceeded to make some jokes on her behalf ("Well, the day can't get any worse.", "Shit, first my car won't start, I'm late for a meeting, my boss chews my ass out, then my car gets puked on...can this day get any worse," and "At least I didn't drive the convertible today.").

My wife was happy to see us home and it was good to have a home cooked meal, even if I was the one doing the cooking. A looooooog soak in the jacuzzi took care of any strains from the lodge and the sledding as well.

Can Things Get Any Worse for Katrina Victims?

Let's say that your home was wiped out by Katrina. The government then completely fucks up to compound the natural disaster. With enough pressure, things start to turn-around, and maybe your neighborhood is getting back on its feet.

You've been living in a FEMA trailer, which is probably better than nothing and allows you to stay in your neighborhood. Then, you find this out that it might be poisoned. Formaldehyde is used in the production of things with plastic, but you would think that the part of the QA process is to make sure that shit is out of there before the product is shipped. Or, someone in the government would say, "Man, this smells like that pig I dissected in middle school." Guess this will lead to another round of lawsuits.

Makes you wonder if this would happen if private companies (that could lose a contract) were in charge of these things. A little accountability would go a long way, IMHO.

V-Day, 2008

I hope that you and your romantically loved one(s) had a great day yesterday. I went to a meeting and spent most of the time wondering why I was there (but at least was getting paid to be). I had to bring the HB because the client didn't have a phone in the conference room. He was on great behavior, kept himself amused, and ate most of a chocolate chip scone which was about as big as his head.

After getting back from the meeting, my wife came back from work and I scooted with a buddy to the golf tournament. I'm not a huge golf fan, but seeing it live is better than you would expect. For instance, you can walk all over the place with a beer in your hand (in this case, 24oz). You can also get so close to the players as to hold a conversation with them. Being in such proximity really gives you a sense of who these guys are. Lastly, seeing a golf ball smacked 325 yards is pretty amazing.

We left the course at about 5 hoping that we would get home (less than 15 miles away) by 7. You read that sentence correctly. There's a shuttle service that runs from the course to the VA parking lot, but if there is worse traffic in LA than the Brentwood/Pacific Palisades area, I'm unaware of it. My buddy and I agreed that was one good reason for us living in the area where we do. I think I walked in the door at about 7:10.

My wife and I gave up on going out for dinner on Valentine's Day at least 10 years ago. When we lived in Boston we were DYING to go to Olives right after it opened. The problem was that this restaurant, like most in Boston, didn't take reservations (I'm sure you recall how I've called Boston the LEAST user friendly city in the country) and it's not like we had the time to get there in horrendous Boston traffic at 4:30 when it opened to get a 7:30 reservation, or some such shit.

One year, the local NPR station offered gift certificates that came with reservation privileges during their begfest. We gave them money anyway, so this seemed like a win-win. So, we got the certificate and decided to make a reservation on Valentine's Day. We get there and the place is JAM packed. We sit practically within erection distance of the couple next to us and are presented with a completely unimaginative and price gouged for the holiday prix fixe menu. I don't even remember what they were serving. That tells you how good the food was. And the service was for shit. I don't think that we've gone out for dinner on Valentine's since.

As a post-script, we did go to the Olives in Vegas a few years back. The night before we had gone to Le Cirque, which was amazing. So much so, in fact, that it was one of the two times in the 24 years I've known my wife that seafood crossed her lips. At any rate, I don't know if it was the contrast, bitterness from our previous experience, or just their quality, but I was not impressed with Olives in the desert.

Last night, my wife got us bread, cheeses, meats and a great bottle of wine (recommended by Jen at the outrageously expensive fancy supermarket). So, after we got the HB in bed, we enjoyed dinner in front of a fire. After the post-dinner chit-chat, we went upstairs and made love listening to the White Stripe's Elephant. Not a bad way to spend the day.

The People V. Roger Clemens

I'm heading out again this weekend (up to the mountains with my son), and I got a lot on my mind. So, as Bette Davis would say, "Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night."

Like you, I am SO glad that the US House of Representatives has the Iraq war in hand, eliminated poverty, established a solid renewable energy policy to last us into the next decade and beyond, and has established a system that allows affordable health care. Otherwise, why else would they have time to find out what was coming out of those needles which were stuck in Roger Clemens' ass. What in the fuck!?

Like Barry Bonds, Clemens is going to have a tough time in this because he's an asshole. The sports media LOVES bringing those dudes down. But, you know who's really taking this...well, in the ass? Debbie Clemens. Yup, she was worried about not looking good enough for a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue (ironically, this year's issue came out this week). She's a fitness guru who encourages her clients to work hard, so she takes HGH when she's in a pinch. Niiiiiice.

Best that I can tell, Roger's defense sound like this:

*Yes, my wife and my best friend (Andy Pettite, who has since admitted even more HGH use and has implicated Clemens since the linked article) have used HGH.

*Yes, those drugs were supplied to them by my trainer.

*No, I have never used those drugs and I'm offended that you even consider the possibility.

Careful followers of sports and steroids will remember that this was the EXACT story told by Marion Jones before she confessed to using steroids (she had a shadowy trainer and both her ex-husband and the father of her child were both admitted steroid users). Not that Roger has used them, just sayin'.

Clemens' story is completely at odds with his trainers'. So, who's telling the truth? I had a friend who did marriage and family counseling. We were chatting around the time of the OJ trial (when there was still some doubt about whether he did it) about how to tell when someone's lying in these situations. His guide was always, "The person who is calm and presents the facts is almost always the truth teller. If someone's very emotional and talks about the pain inflicted by the whole thing they are usually lying." Not that Roger has used them, just sayin'.

Of course, there are two things that make this whole thing hilarious. Remember in the 2000 World Series, Clemens threw a broken bat at Mike Piazza? And that cell phone commercial where Roger is asking Debbie if he should play another year and she goes ballistic and throwing shit? Obviously 'roid rage.

Back to our dipshits in Congress. Besides why are they even wasting their time on this, how come all of the democrats are tearing Clemens to pieces and the republicans are showering him with (mostly) man-love? Who's the republican strategist saying, "Listen, this dude's being railroaded, cut him some slack." If I were a betting man, I wouldn't be surprised if Clemens is a Republican supporter, as many rich athletes are (for instance, ARod gave a big chunk to Guiliani). Regardless of whether he has personally made political contributions, you know that these every two year hustlers do NOT want to alienate a bunch of millionaires this close to an election. They could at least be subtle about it.

Going Under the Knife

I did hear from my HMO and I'm going to get the Mohs procedure done on 2/29. I LOVE that day. This year it's a bit inconvenient as I have a charity fund raiser to go to that night, but I guess I'll do so with a (hopefully) small band-aid on my face.

It's scheduled for 11 am. It will be under a local anesthetic, so I don't have to starve myself before going in, which is great because the hosptial is near one of my fave burger places. The burger place is an LA institution. The one downtown is like the Times Square of LA in that people from all over the city (punks, frat boys, gang bangers, music industry types, kids from the 'burbs, etc) go there at all hours of the night without fights breaking out. The one I'll hit before the surgery is near what used to be a great concert club. In fact, I was at that club the night before mine and my wife's first date seeing Metallica, Megadeth and Armored Saint (awwwwwwwww).

I hope that you have a great Valentine's Day. I'll be spending most of the day at was used to be called the LA Open. Then wine, cheese, etc. with the wife.

Smut Meme

Ah, thank you (I think) to my good buddy Lola for this. A lotta rules came with this that I'm going to ignore because I hate rules.

If you want to play along you can answer the questions in the comments or pop it in your own blog.

1. Chocolate or Whipped Cream: Definitely whip cream...and not just for the N2O hits.

2. Leather or PVC: I'm a metal dude...leather.

3. Outdoor Sex or Indoor Sex: Outdoor. The thrill makes up for the mosquito bites on your ass.

4. In the Jacuzzi or In Bed: Jacuzzi always sounds better, but can be, umb...impractical. Plus, you're sitting in the post-coital (or whatever) water just doesn't sound all that great.

5. Bad Sex or No Sex: Bad sex? There's good and better, embarrassing and comfortable, but I'm unfamiliar with bad.

6. Dominate or Be Dominated: I've never been with a very aggressive woman, so I can't comment on the latter. I don't mind the former, but not all of the time.

7. Thigh highs or Bodystocking: Haven't had the experience, but the thought of thigh highs is way better.

8. Fast or Slow: What's it with all of these false choices? FIGHT THE TYRANNY OF OR-- EMBRACE THE POSSIBILITIES OF AND.

9. Rough or Gentle: I tend towards gentle.

10. Bite or Suck: See #8. And don't forget lick and nibble.

11. Role play or Reality: Oh, you mean besides playing mid-40s married people? A little bondage here and there is nice, but who's got time to put on a show?

12. Dirty Talking or Dirty Talking To: BOTH, but not in a 'can you top this' way.

13. Edible panties or No Panties: No panties.

14. Spanking paddle or Bare-handed: Bare-handed.

15. Landing Strip or Kojak: Me or her? Let's just say trimmed is nice, but there's no reason to get all topiary.

16. Multiple Sessions or One Good Fuck: As if we normally have the time for more than one. But, I like the creativity of multiple.

17. Moaning or Screaming: Moaning...screaming kinda freaks me out.

18. Older Men or Young Men: Uh, neither.

19. Threeway or No Way: No way. I'm just WAY too self-conscious. Having said, that, I can't say I'd pass up the opportunity just to see what it's like.

20. Swing or No Swinging: Nope, not interested.

Writers' Strike--Finis

Using the directors' contract as a jumping off point, the writers came to an agreement with the producers. The end of any strike brings the question, "Was it worth it?" I think the producers got pretty much what they wanted, the writers, not so much.

The producers were able to dump a bunch of lousy new shows and streamline the pilot process (not produce as many that will never see the light of day). They kept the union from having jurisdiction over reality shows and certain animated shows and also kept a three week non-residual window for new online content.

The writers got what they said they wanted, which was residuals for web content (after a flat fee for two years) and increases in movie residuals. Strangely, they didn't get an increase in DVD residuals, which was one of their original beefs.

In the end the settlement means that the successful writers will do better and there will be fewer opportunities for new or less successful writers for cable and television shows. And they gained all of this while throwing half the industry out of work for 100 days. The flip side is that if scripted entertainment delivered over the web is the wave of the future, tons of new writing jobs will be created. You can decide which side got the better end of the deal. I'm thinking it's the producers who are lighting the cigars.

Back From the Weekend

We had a good time at the resort-y place. The HB got in some jacuzzi time (the unheated outdoor pools were a bit chilly) and we did some family stuff (ping-pong, shuffle board, trip to the arcade and room service. The bad part was that I slept like shit. I made up for it last night by going to bed at 9pm.

The conference stuff went well, too. Our hospitality suite kicked ass (musta been the tequila shooters) and the NZS had a good time. I even got to schmooze with a labor attorney who I had met before. He could throw a bunch of biz my way. I'll follow-up with him tomorrow about getting together for lunch sometime soon.

Nope, haven't heard back from the surgery folks. I'll give them until the end of Tuesday before I rattle their cage.

And, in some particularly good news, the Lady Vols blew a big lead to Rutgers, then pulled the win out of their asses at the end. That should keep them as #1 for the week.

Party Weekend....Sort Of

I'll be a bit quiet on the blog this weekend as I'll be heading out for a Rotary conference this weekend. It's close and at a resort-y kind of place, so my wife and the HB will be joining me. I'll be heading down a before them this afternoon since my Club is hosting a hospitality suite (maricachi theme, we we'll be serving tacos, Tecate and tequilla shots). Don't know the wifi or my time availability, so I may not be able to check in until Sunday.

The good news is that the New Zealand national rugby sevens team is playing in San Diego this weekend. As the NZS will be coming to the conference as well, I've arranged for someone to take him to see one of the All Black's matches. I can't go due to the ONE meeting I have to attend, but he's going to dig it.

Since this place has 3 pools, the HB is going to really have a good time.

Hey, I've Got Cancer!

Yup, the title is not a joke. I wrote last month about my biopsy and it came back indicating that I have a basal cell carcinoma. To quote Lola, fuckinghell.

So, my HMO's preferred way to treat this is Mohs surgery. Yes, the name is probably a little close to mohel for my male Jewish friends. In this procedure they cut small sections of the cancer area and drop a dye into the tissue to test for cancer. If it's positive they keep on cutting. If it's negative, the doc stops. Sounds better than digging out a chunk of my face.

Initially reading that e-mail was a bit of a shock. At 44 I didn't expect to have cancer (damn you misleading healthy lifestyle!). But, given the type and the treatment I'm not excessively worried. At the risk of sounding vain, I did ask the dermatologist if he's also get me a plastic surgeon referral, just in case this thing is deep so I'm not left with a crater next to my nose. And if it's not, I can always get a new set of boobs, just to see what it's like.

WW #53--Commited

OK, no political posts for a while. Back to some tradition....

Wet Wednesday #53

1. for you, is sex hotter when it is forbidden? or are you the sort that is wracked with guilt and it is not enjoyable?

Forbidden makes it better.

2. are casual sexual encounters fulfilling to you, or do you need an emotional commitment from your partner?

I'll get kicked out of the guy club for this, but I was never into seducing women I didn't like at more than a superficial level. I don't know if I needed commitment, but it has to be more than a couple of hour thing.

3. do you think that with all of the online dating sites that cater to every fetish and desire and places like craigslist that it's more difficult to stay committed to your partner?

Nope. If you're committed you might go look, but you will not touch. There's always been ways to find that stuff (especially here in LA). The delivery method is not the issue.

Look Back Wednesday

OK, it was Obama who won more states, but he and Clinton still fought to a draw. You can see the passion in Obama supporters given his percentage of wins in the states that caucus compared to those who have primaries (see Iowa). Of the remaining contests in February and March, 10 1/2 (Texas has a hybrid) are primaries and 5 1/2 are caucuses, which would seem to give Clinton an edge. What's striking is that there very few close contests between them at the state level. I guess they're pretty smart in picking their battles. One thing is for sure, if this stays this tight we'll start hearing about Clinton sending lawyers to get the Michigan and Florida delegates seated (states she won but are being punished for moving up their primaries).

On the donkey side, Romney's gotta be looking at the return-on-investment of his money. He's outspent Huckabee a gagillion to 1 and is stuck in second place. He seems to win small midwestern states while Huckabee wins the bible belt and McCain takes everything else. If he was running his campaign like a business he'd sell. My sense is that his ego's too involved and he is going to keep going for another month.

Super Duper Tuesday

Just got back from voting with my wife and the HB (he was able to mark my ballot--woot!). I don't think my wife and I agreed on any of the propositions. Oh well.

Without peaking, here are my Super Tuesday predictions:

McCain won't get over 50% of the delegates needed to win the nomination, but he's going to give Romney an ass-kicking and the writing is going to be on the wall.

Clinton will win more states than Obama, but the delegate count will be about a draw. They'll spin it a million ways, but neither is going to be any closer to winning after the sun rises tomorrow. I will say this--the campaign that wins the most delegates in CA will eventually win the nomination.

The Birth of Political Thinking

I'm driving the HB to school and I ask him if he wants to go with me to vote (today's Super Tuesday in CA, in case you haven't noticed all of the screaming). After I promise that I'll let him mark the ballot (if the polls workers will let me bring him in the booth with me) he says yes. This is one of those things where I tell myself if he sees me and/or my wife voting it will make it more likely he'll vote. That can have unintended consequences, but I'm willing to deal with that.

This conversation leads to a discussion about the candidates. I'm one of those parents who doesn't mind teachers talking about these things. It encourages political curiosities and I have confidence in the school's teachers not to overly preach. You can tell that some political messages get through to kids because the HB says that he would vote for Obama because he represents change (I think that sound I heard was Lola's head hitting the ground). So, I ran through the other candidates to see what, if anything, he thought of them. At some point he said something to the effect, "Well, they couldn't be much worse than Bush." Atta boy!

Then I talked to him that my political party, Libertarians, is neither the democrats or the republicans. He said that they hadn't talked about other parties at school. Going back to the change theme, I asked him, "HB, if the democrats and republicans have been the ones in power for all of these years, how do you expect any of them to really change things?" The silence of 8 year old contemplation filled the car. He then said, "Y'know, I'm gonna ask my teacher about the Libertarian and other party candidates today." That's my boy.

Sat 8: Friends or Foes

OK, I'm late. What's it to ya?

1. do you have a family member that you cannot stand? who are they, and why?

Hm...probably nothing that strong. But I do have one cousin who is very weasily.

2. have you had a previously-detested family member turn into someone you very much liked (they matured, apologised for a past wrong, etc.)? what happened?

Nope. Though I do find that there are some family members who I like more as time goes on.

3. when was the last time a family member embarrassed you in public? what happened?

Hm...I'm sure my parents did, but I can't think of anything in particular right now.

4. when was the last time YOU did something to embarrass your family in public (or private)?

HAHAHAHAHA...I'm probably the wrong person to ask.

5. what was the last big spat you had with a friend? what happened?

Lynn and I got into a row because she accused me of acting different towards her due to her new bf. I'm think she was projecting. At any rate, we still haven't resolved that.

6. when was the last time a friend was in trouble? were you able to help them out?

I have a friend who's having relationship problems. I don't know if I've helped her, but I'd like to think I've given her a good sounding board to work things out herself.

7. has a friend ever done something very bad (or embarrassing, or possibly illegal?), and left you either holding the bag or left you to clean up the aftermath? are you still friends with that person?

Nope.

8. when was the last time you "got even" with someone? do you regret it?

Revenge and catharsis don't work for me (damnit!), so I don't think I've ever gotten even with someone.

I Have a Proposition for You, and it Begins with "S"

OK, not what you were probably thinking. Besides the primaries, the LA Super Tuesday ballot also includes statewide propositions (hmm, doesn't sound too bad) and local ballot initiatives, one of them being Proposition S.

Basically, the city of LA was found to have implemented a 10% phone tax which was potentially illegal (it's in the courts right now). Illegal in the sense that it was put into place without the necessary votes per a statewide proposition passed in 1996. After years of fighting to keep the illegal tax (and losing), the city council decided to finally put it as a 9% tax on the ballot (as it should have been in the first place). Now get this...their big plug for it is that it's a tax reduction. So, their logic is, "Yeah, we've been stealing from you. Now we want to legally do the same thing, but at a 10% lower rate. Whadya say?" Or, "We want to continue fucking you with only 90% of the thrusts...is that OK?" Strangely, if you're a telemarketer, you're only taxed at 5%. WTF? And, huge media companies, like the Tribune company that owns the LA Times, are also exempt due to a provision that omits taxing the gathering or transmitting of news. And, what do you know, they're endorsing a Yes vote? Go figure.

The city council is addicted to their ill-gotten gains, so my local councilman has sent out e-mail saying that we should vote for it because otherwise horrible things will happen to city services and telling us about the reduction in stealing. Well, if you guys could spend the existing money you collect properly and not give huge tax breaks to developers, I'm sure the voters would OK additional taxes for specific purposes, as they have in the past. But, after all of this lying and scheming, I wouldn't count on it.

As you've guessed, I'm voting no on it.

Super Bowl Wrap-Up--Updated

I was going to blog about the game beforehand. Had I, I would have picked the Patriots to win, but not cover the 12 point spread. Going into the game I was leaning towards rooting for the Giants. As the game got closer, I REALLY wanted them to win. Why? Here are two reasons:

1) The Patriots arrogance early in the year by running up the score on teams. Karma finally caught up with them.

2) They are cheaters. Sure, they only got caught once illegally taping teams (the league fined them and the Patriots didn't appeal), but I can't believe it was the only time they did it. Oh, and one of their 'star' players on defense, Rodney Harrison, was suspended earlier in the year for taking steroids.

What it comes down to is that they think they are bigger than the game. And this is from a franchise that was awful for years. Now they're just like the Yankees. Arrogant, and playoff losers. Have a nice off season, Pats.

The Pats looked good, but beatable in the playoffs. Neither Jacksonville or SD could seal the deal. But, the Giants did what they had to, which was control the ball and hit Brady in the mouth. Were they the best team throughout the year? Nah. Are they the best team right now. Absolutely. Nice win, Big Blue.

Updated at about 11:00 am on 2/4

Oh, and I forgot Belichick leaving the field with a second to go. He said at his press conference that the game was over when he left the field. Bullshit. This guy is immerses himself in details (see throwing a review flag to get a 12-men on the field penalty against the Giants because a dude was still a half step on the field), so he knew EXACTLY how much time was left.

Obviously, him being there wasn't going to affect the outcome of the game, but it shows what an arrogant bastard he (and, by proxy, his organization and players) is. It's like when the Pistons walked off the court with time remaining when Jordan and the Bulls finally beat them in the playoffs. You win on the field, but you show what kind of champion you are off of it.

I Finally Put My Finger on Why Romney Bugs Me

Responding to a comment from my post on the dems' debate, it finally put my finger on what bugs the shit out of me about Romney. It's that his campaign is completely hypocritical. Forget all of his changed positions on issues, this is much more to the core.

When the donkeys were debating at the Reagan library they went on and on and on about who was the 'true' conservative like Reagan. Never mind that Regan raised taxes, signed an abortion law in CA when governor, and increased both spending and the debt as president.

Romeny's spiel goes something like this, "I'm not from Washington so I can change things." Fair enough. Then, he jumps all over McCain, and to a lesser extent Huckabee (he just ignores Paul like he's a crazy uncle) for not towing the republican line. So, Mr. Romney, exactly how are you going to change Washington if your litmus test for being a good republican is voting the same way all the republicans are currently voting? Considering that the donks only recently ceded power, who were these 'Washington' people who need changing? That's right, the republicans you want to vote with. If you're the agent of change, don't you wan to point out you differences with those people?

Plus, he talks about free and open markets etc., the trolls for votes in Michigan by promising government assistance to help the auto industry. Right, like what we need to do is have every tax payer support an industry when so many of us have rejected their product as inferior. That makes perfect fucking sense. He should go back to buying and selling businesses.