My Aunt's Funeral, Pt 2

So, after we go to the funeral we drive out to the cemetery. It was about 30 min outside of Philly, so with the long procession it took a while. My aunt got to run all of the red lights on a day when it did her no good.

It was a warm, but not oppressive day. Traditionally, caskets at Jewish funerals are plain pine boxes, as this was. Another tradition is that family members are asked to be the first to shovel in the dirt. There is NOTHING that brings home the finality of the occasion than hearing dirt falling six feet and hitting a pine box. It always elicits more than a few gasps and sobs. I explained to the HB the tradition. It's considered a good deed to do something for someone (the deceased) that s/he will never be able to return. We can argue about whether burying someone is doing them a favor, but that's the tradition. We joined the line and I showed him how to do it (first shovel on the back of the spade, next two regular). He wanted to be sure that he covered some spots that hadn't been yet. I was trying to wipe away tears so that I wouldn't miss (someone did get some dirt on my cousin's shoes). We walked away to chat with some relatives as my aunt's until-recently-estranged son finished the deed.

Back at the house, things were pretty subdued. No crying but no back slapping. I think the reason was because, at least among her sibs and most of her friends, she was the first to go. In a previous post I mentioned that at my grandmother's funeral she said that we (her sibs) were next. And she was probably more right that she thought she would be. Everyone just kind of nibbled and drank and most of the guests headed out around 9pm.

I'll write some more later.