Why I'm Suing My Parents

I had a happy, non-abusive upbringing. Loving parents, friends to play with in the neighborhood, good public schools, etc. But, I gotta take my parents to court. Why? Because even though I exercise 5 times a week, eat low-fat foods and don't consume much red meat, I just found out that my cholesterol is 285. Clearly, it's due to heredity. This isn't a surprise in that it's always been high, but shit. My doc jokes that I'm doing a good job on everything, except those things that I can't control (my genes and getting older). So, while may not happen this year, at some point I'll be a big pharma's doorstep buying some meds to lower my cholesterol. I'm going to sue my parents for the cost of buying 40+ years of that shit.