WW #53--Commited

OK, no political posts for a while. Back to some tradition....

Wet Wednesday #53

1. for you, is sex hotter when it is forbidden? or are you the sort that is wracked with guilt and it is not enjoyable?

Forbidden makes it better.

2. are casual sexual encounters fulfilling to you, or do you need an emotional commitment from your partner?

I'll get kicked out of the guy club for this, but I was never into seducing women I didn't like at more than a superficial level. I don't know if I needed commitment, but it has to be more than a couple of hour thing.

3. do you think that with all of the online dating sites that cater to every fetish and desire and places like craigslist that it's more difficult to stay committed to your partner?

Nope. If you're committed you might go look, but you will not touch. There's always been ways to find that stuff (especially here in LA). The delivery method is not the issue.

WW #2008 Edition

The WW is back...let's play!

today we are going to talk about may-november romances. Lola's married neighbour has been camming with her son's friend. scandalous!

1. in the book cougar: a guide for older women dating younger men by valerie gibson, ms. gibson states that the typical cougar-prey age difference is six years. would you date - or have you ever dated - someone at least six years your junior?

I would, but I haven't. Besides, when I was dating that would have been grounds for statutory.

2. what is the largest age difference between you and a paramour? who was older?

Even thinking back to my younger, dating days I can't think of dating anyone who was more than a year or so younger than me.

3. what would you say to your friend if he/she was carrying on with a friend of their child? is this ever acceptable to you? why or why not?

It depends on the circumstance and whether they are in luv or in lust. A good buddy of mine is getting ready to marry a woman who's a good 15 years younger than him. Neither has been married or has any kids. I can honestly say that she's the best thing that's ever happened to him. Attraction works in mysterious ways. If both people are getting what they want out of it, I'm OK with it even if there's a big age difference (assuming neither are minors). But there will be repercussions, regardless of whether they stay together or not.

ww#49 :: been a long time since i...

OK, I'm a bit late due to the HB's friend sleeping over yesterday.

1. what is the longest you have gone without sex involuntarily? as in, you wanted to, but you couldn't for whatever reason?

Couldn't or couldn't find someone? Assuming the latter, a couple of weeks.

2. what was the longest time period you've had to wait for oral sex, and was it worth the wait? why or why not?

Couple of weeks. Always worth it.

3. what was the longest time period between when you were supposed to have sex (for instance, you'd made a date for it), and when you actually had it? did the wait make it a better experience?

A day or two. And no, it sucked.

WW #48: Friends

Courtesy of Lola:

1. are you currently in, or have you ever had, a FWB (friends with benefits) relationship?

Not currently (hm...is that an offer?). Did it in grad school.

2. have you ever had sexual contact with a friend, and then later regretted it?

See above. She was far more emotionally into it than I was (which isn't to say that I wasn't at all), but ending it hurt her which was the last thing I wanted to do.

3. do you have a friend or acquaintance, or perhaps someone you are friend with at work/the gym, that you would consider having a sexual relationship with? why or why not?

In a base sense of, "Wow, she's hawt I wonder what she's like in the sack," yes. Acting on it? No. I wouldn't risk my marriage or family for anyone I know.

WW #45--Halloweenie

From Lola:

1. have you ever had sex "in costume"? did you like it? what made it better or worse?

Hm...can't say that I have.

2. not including unwanted personal violence, what is the SCARIEST sexual experience you've had? condom breaking? her parents walking in on you? getting caught by a security officer? grandma finding your vibrator?

Definitely almost getting caught by my parents. Of course, the one time my dad walked in on me and a gf in high school while we studying. I *wish* I would have been fucking her.

3. if you had to be the bride or groom of any scary monster, who would it be? elvira, mistress of the dark? gerard butler's dracula?

Oh, definitely Linda Blair in The Exorcist...that chick was FREAKY (hahahahaha).

WW #44

Courtesy of Lola who is CLEARLY hard up.

1. when was the last time you were pussy-pissed/blue balled? what brought you to that state?

Things are kinda rough now...the wife's been sick and the air quality is so bad here from the fires that she's not getting better.

2. when was the last time you were interrupted sexually, and you could not finish? what happened?

Wasn't me, but was once with a paramour in Vegas. I was going down on her when the housekeeper walked in. After the housekeeper left, my lady friend said, "Damn...and I was working on a GOOD one." We got back to it and she came, but we'll never know if it was as good as the original.

3. who was the last person you encountered that the flirting or convo left you WANTING MORE? what did you do about it?

In the past I had many convos with Lynn like that.

WW #43--Visual Aids

Yeah, I know...I've been a poor blogger of late. But, the reason for it (a big project) has now passed (that'll be my next entry). So, only a couple of days late, are my WW responses

1. are you into erotic or pornographic film? why or why not?

Into it? Not really. Occasionally check it out? Yes. Besides the immediate reaction, it doesn't do a lot for me. It's either extremely fake or very goofy, which makes it more entertaining, but less erotic.

2. are you sexually stimulated visually by the gender you are attracted to (or both, if you are bisexual), or do you need something more cerebral to make you hot for them?

In the short term, looks will do it. More than that, there has to be some substance.

3. are you sexually turned on by a member of the gender you are NOT genetically attracted to? for our bisexual participants, what turns you on most about both sexes?

No, but I can appreciate why (some) women go ga-ga over George Clooney, Brad Pitt, etc.

WW #42--Differences of Opinion

1. where is the line drawn for you at the point where a preference (or something that you enjoy) is a fetish? is it the use of 3rd party stimulation (porn, vibrators), roles (bondage, SBDM, role-playing), or when you just can't get aroused by anything else?

Hm...that's quite the fine line and gives fetish a pejorative connotation. I think the line is crossed when the 'preference' is the only way you can get off.

2. lola and a guy were debating the use of the word "hook up." i view it as sexual action ONLY (no dating, no dinner, just "come on over; i've got condoms"), and he viewed it as getting together to go to a movie or just hang out. is there a sexual or dating term that you've debated with a lover or other?

I'm thinking "hooking up" is getting together for sex.

3. Lola's married, but recently have had an ex-bf pursue her. even though she told him she was not interested, he kept emailing her and telling her he wanted to see her again, etc. if you are very much into someone and want to see/be with them, does a significant other matter to you?

I have some ex's and other female friends I keep in contact with (not for hooking up purposes). I try to be sensitive to their husband's/bf's appreciation of me being in contact with the woman in question. In some cases the contact has to be discreet, in others I'm just as good of buds with the woman as the man. So, it just depends.

WW #41

1. how thin is TOO thin for you in a lover? is it someone like kate bosworth, posh spice, or mark anthony?
2. how 'large' is too big for you in a lover? (i'm not going to list any names as terms like large, overweight, and big are all part of individual taste - but feel free to list celeb names, etc.)

I'll answer both at the same time. In the past I just have not been picky about body size. How I feel about the person trumps the size of the package. Now, if we're talking about ogling, then I would say my preference is mid-sized athletic type (think Elle McPherson). Super twiggy women, like Kate Moss, do NOTHING for me. I can't think of celeb who is so big that she makes me go "ew."

3. if you were to get a new lover and this weekend was your first time having sex with them. how would you feel about them seeing you nude? is a look in the mirror in the buff cringe-worthy, or are you lookin' pretty damn good?

I would say between pretty damn good and "uh, can we turn off the lights and would you wear this full body bag with critical cutouts." I wouldn't be hung up about it.

WW #36

1. have you ever dated someone or had a lover who had an emotional or mental disorder? how did that work out? if you haven't dated anyone with an emotional/mental disorder, would you?

I didn't do much...she took her meds (depression/anxiety)

2. have you ever dated someone/took a lover who had a physical disability? what, if anything, did you do differently to accommodate them sexually? if you have never dated anyone with a physical disability, would you? (remember - we're not judging; some people are unable to handle a lover with a disability, and that's a personal choice!)

I haven't.

3. do you have mood swings (hormonal or otherwise) that affect your relationship? if not, have you dated someone who "swung pretty hard"?

I think that I'm pretty even-keeled, but Lynn can have her swings when things are not going well. The don't last long as long as she's on her meds.

WW #39

1. Lola was looking at the responses to a question on popsugar.com, where 90% of women had never had a one-night stand. have you ever had a one-night stand? did you see that person again?

Nope, never had one.

2. what is the strangest or non-traditional place you've had sex?

My grad school office.

3. is there something non-traditional (spanking, bukkake, bondage, midget porn, foot fetish, etc.) that turns you on? what is it, and have you had anyone freak out on you due to the fact that it turned you on?

I'd say tit fucking, but never freaked anyone out.

WW #38 (sorry I'm late)

1. what's the shortest amount of time you've ever had sex (with a partner, that is)?

Shortest time during penetration? Blow job? Tit fucking? I was 16 once, so I'd say pretty quick (<2min)

2. what's the longest amount of time you've ever had sex?

Please see the above. About an hour (to which the wife commented, "When are you going to be done?" since we were running late getting to a wedding).

3. what's the longest you've gone without sex?

Since I was 16, probably about a year during my first year of college

WW #35

1. have you ever been dumped by a lover, or dumped one? tell us about the one that stands out most in your mind, and why.

I've dumped two, both when the wife and I were first dating. I guess they just got voted off the island. Once was kinda easy to do since she was getting to be annoying. The other one I really cared about, but I had made my choice. If the wife wasn't in the picture at the time, I probably would have stayed with her for a while.

2. if you could change one thing about your lover/SO, what would you change ... and why?

Bring her sex drive back. It's ok now, but things were better when it was stronger. I understand that working at a mentally taxing job and raising an 8 y.o. takes it out of you, but she has a short memory about how good she feels after the big O.

3. if your parents/friends/whomever you're close to threatened to cut all ties with you if your S.O. moved in with you, what would YOU do?

My parents weren't quite at that point with my wife, but they weren't initially happy about my choice. Had they made that threat they would have had to stick with it because I still would have pulled the trigger.

WW #34

1. have you ever been photographed in a compromising position, without clothing, or in a sex act? why or why not?

A buddy of mine claims that he has a 'group' picture of several of us (male and female) in a hot tub, but I've never seen the goods.

2. have you ever been videotaped in a compromising position, without your clothing, or during a sex act? why or why not?

I've never asked, or been asked, to video-tape sex, so that kinda rules that out. Whether the wife has every hired a PI is mystery to me.

3. has anyone ever watched you in/perform a sex act, or have you ever watched anyone perform a sex act? why or why not?

Potentially....once an old gf and I (hm...one who would have been in the picture in #1) had sex in a hotel room while others were sleeping in the hotel room. I can't rule out that someone was awake and has kept his/her mouth shut all of this time. I don't ever recall walking in on anyone, or being invited to.

WW #30

1. do you have an old lover that would tempt you - even just mentally, just for a second - to cheat on your current S.O. because the sex was JUST THAT GOOD?

Yes, but probably not for just the sex. The companionship would be just as important.

2. do you have an ex that you dumped because you were sexually incompatible? tell us about that.

We were incompatible in that I wanted it and she didn't.

3. a friend of mine got back together with her ex, who not only lied to her about making our old secretary into his personal booty call but dumped her and treated her like utter hell in the process ("you can MAIL my stuff to my sister, you bitch" were his exact words; i tried to burn his crap, but she wouldn't let me). now they're engaged, even though he was a total skank and slutted around with not-so-pure secretary (and God knows who else). is there someone in your close friend's life, male or female, that you completely despise because they've slutted around on your friend?

Hm....not that I can think of.

Wet Wednesday #29 (from Lola)

I'm at a serious disadvantage in this line of questioning since I've never had a 'real' job in the sense of going into an office and working with a bunch of people. But here goes...

1. have you ever crushed on, hooked up with, or dated anyone you've worked with? how did that work out?

When it comes to working with clients, having a crush on someone who worked there would be a stretch, but lusted after wouldn't be. Look, but not touch.

2. have you ever reported or ratted out any office romances (including your own, perhaps for a bit of sweet revenge?) at your workplace? what was the result?

Nope.

3. i have a confession ... i had sex with The Husband on my boss' desk a few years ago. have you ever had sex in the workplace? where was it? and, more importantly, HOW was it?

Not at the work place (tho' one time was VERY tempted). But, in grad school, I knocked it out a few times with a woman in my class in our offices. Once in hers she gave me a great hummer. Another time we did it on the desk in mine, with the added adventure factor of it being during the day and there being a LARGE window.

WW #27

1) How healthy do you have to be before making a move on whomever you desire? 100% healthy, small cough/runny nose, if I'm horny I don't care about the other shit?

As long as I'm not constantly blowing my nose, I'm game.

2) How healthy does the person who is making a move on you have to be before you'll accept his/her affections? If s/he is game, so am I or don't you even THINK about giving me what you got?

If my wife's game, I am. Besides, we sleep together. Having sex isn't going to affect whether or not I get what she has.

3) If you're having sex and one or both is not feeling 100% how does that affect your repertoire? Less kissing? Less intimate positions (e.g., doggie-style vs. missionary)?

She's sick more frequently than I am, so it leads to more missionary/side by side and less oral.

WW #24

Courtesy of Lola. Though, I think my responses may be on the (more) boring side than usual:

1. have you ever had sex with someone you met online? how did that work out?

Nope.

2. do you feel that online dating is a place to find your soulmate, or do you feel that it's just there to be used for nefarious purposes or to find a FWB?

I think different people will find different things there. But, FWB's will be much more available.

3. How do you feel committing to an actual relationship with someone who had sex with you nearly immediately after meeting you?

Hey, some people just click.

Wet Wednesday #21

Courtesy of Lola (with some edits):

1. my (Lola's) darling friend is a "heightist," meaning she won't date men who are under a certain height (5'10") no matter how attractive/successful they are. how tall do you like the gender of people that you're attracted to?

I guess my range is pretty big because I've never said, "Gheeze, she'd be attractive if she were shorter/taller." But, I do recall sleeping with a particularly short woman (<= 5'), and going at it missionary with her head in my chest was kinda weird.

2. foreplay: how long does this "have" to go on for you to be satisfied?
Depends. If my wife is giving me a courtesy hummer (OK, I know you're horny, if I do this will you leave me alone?) I can go quick. Otherwise, I'd say in the 10 min range.

3. intercourse: generally, how long does penetration need to last before you are satisfied?
Errr...not being on the business end, I don't think I'm the right person to respond. My wife has never (yes, that includes before me) come during penetration, so how long I last is not a huge deal to her (or so she tells me).

4. afterglow: are you a "fuck-n-run" type of person, or do you need the tender moments of post-coital bliss to chat, cuddle, etc.?

The latter, but not two hours worth.

5. Lola: i am mesmerised by the length of a man's fingers. in fact, there's a married guy at work whose hands leave me wobbly with wanton desire. so, fingers ... the longer the better? or do you like short, stubby fingers? or does it matter as long as the person has all 10 digits?

I prefer long ones, but how they look otherwise is more important. Then again, I've never thought, "Wow, what great fingers...I gotta get in her panties!"